Grief can become good! However, this is not a natural happening it occurs once a person has successfully gone through grief work for their loss. There can be positive aspects of grief where it increases self-awareness, love, and cohesion among the people who have encountered loss. Good grief means that we have learned and grown in our bereavement and can live above the loss. Unlike the orthodox interpretation, that time heals and so does keeping busy; the restructuring of new meaning about the loss and completing the unfinished business heals better. The cycle of good grief starts with the survivor assimilating the reality that loss has occurred, they express the emotional pain of the loss, cultivate new strategies for coping with the loss, and develop new beliefs and attitudes about life, loss, death, love, and compassion.
Pointers to good grief
- Forgiveness of anyone who might have directly caused the loss.
- Ability to move on with normal life and recall of the loss with pleasant memories.
- Identify any power you may have given up or lost in the loss like personal control of events, happiness, social life, spirituality among others.
- Identify the power or choices you may have: such as opportunities’ to grow and options presented to you.
- Realization your efforts to defend the loss and accept the situation that if it was within your means you may not let anything bad happen to you.
- Our goals turn toward personal growth finding comfort and healing.
- Perceived strength and desire to reach out to others with similar problems.
Reflection of good grief from the scriptures
From the book of Luke 22:31-32, Jesus told Simon, that when he returns from his trials He should strengthen his brothers. Two teachings we can capture from this verse is the assurance that his trials would end the testimony that would come with the end of the trials to the church to not only make the brethren stronger but to glorify God as well.
- Grief has its role in glorifying God in the event he lifts us up. The book of Mark chapter 5 records the account of the demon-possessed man and how he received his healing. Jesus asked him to go back to his family and tell them everything the Lord has done for him and how merciful he has been instead of following him. Grief will make people who knew you in your suffering glorify God and come to his knowledge. Jesus said in Isiah 61:1 he came to proclaim good news to the poor bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.
- From 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 good Grief translates to comfort from God so that in the same comfort we have received we can honor God by comforting others and building the kingdom of God.
- Trials ordained by God are a necessary path for us believers in God to attain salvation. For only through experiencing God’s work of refinement and purification can our corruption get cleansed. Then only then can our faith, love, and the knowledge of God increase, and can we have true reverence and adoration for God. Grief is good for a Christian because it is what God uses to refine us in Zechariah 13:9 to accept us.
- Grief will Foster growth in the kingdom of God in your testimony Matthew 5:14-16 as the light for the world A city cannot be hidden when it is located on a hill. No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket. Instead, everyone who lights a lamp puts it on a lampstand. Then its light shines on everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine in front of people. Then they will see the good that you do and praise your Father in heaven.”